Essay #9 Outline

Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

11/30/10

Thesis: Sydney Carton does not think highly of himself.

Bell Word: Insignificant

Paragraph 1

Hook: CD has some interesting characters

Hook Comment: have different personalities for each

Hook Comment: Carton especially has an odd one

Thesis: Carton feels insignificant

Paragraph 2

TS: CD made Carton depressing

2 Echo Words: Unwanted and Useless

SD: Carton describes himself as "useless piece of furniture, tolerated for it's old service, and taken no notice of." (p.216)

CM: used to be known, now is unwanted

CM: feels unnoticed

SD: "I shall never be better than I am. I shall sink lower, and be worse." (p.156)

CM: very depressed

CM: thinks his life is pretty much over

SD: " ...a fire, however, inseperable in its nature from myself, quickening nothing, lighting nothing, doing no service, idly burning away." (p.157)

CM: can't help no one

CM: has no confidence

Paragraph 3

TS: Carton can improve on personality in many ways

2 Bell words: Irrelevant and Meager

SD: needs more confidence

CM: allow him to talk to people without being negative

CM: make him feel useful instead of irrelevant

SD: needs to make more friends

CM: friends will make him feel needed

CM: will give him things to do

SD: needs to find a girl

CM: this will make him happy

CM: will give him something to live for each day

Paragraph 4

Hook: Sydney a definitely an intriguing character

Hook Comment: would be hard to change though

Hook Comment: very stubborn character

Thesis: Even though Carton is depressed and feels unimportant, he still could potentially change.

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Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

12/5/10

Carton Depressed:

An Essay on the Book Tale of Two Cities

1) Charles Dickens has different personalities for each of his characters in Tale of Two Cities, especially his character Sydney Carton. 2) Carton has many flaws and isn't shy to admit it. 3) He almost forces the other characters to feel bad for him. 4) Sydney Carton is one of those people that's thinks of himself as non-factor in other people's lives.

TS: Sydney Carton is a character in Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens that feels as if he's unimportant (bell word) to everyone else in the book. SD: He portrays (FAST word) himself as a "useless piece of furniture, tolerated for it's old service, and taken no notice of" (Dickens, 216). CM: He remembers how he actually once was loved and used, but now he is forgotten and lonely and sad and believes he'll never be useful again (polysyndeton). CM: He hates feeling useless (bell word) even though he truly thinks he can't do anything about it. SD: "I shall never be better than I am. I shall sink lower, and be worse" (Dickens, 156) is another way Carton defines himself. CM: Sydney Carton is a very sad person, a person who dislikes himself, a depressed person who has lost a part of him, acting like a person who has nothing else to live for (Coordinate Cumulative Sentence). CM: He knows nothing now (alliteration) or ever will happen in the rest of his life or at least that is what his mind is set on. SD: The last way Carton depicts (FAST word) himself is as "...a fire, however, inseparable in its nature from myself, quickening nothing, lighting nothing, doing no service, idly burning away" (Dickens, 157). CM: He doesn't feel like he can help anyone, afraid of being unwanted (bell word) by everyone as he "idly [burns] away". CM: He has no confidence in himself either, making it hard for him to not always be depressed. CS: Carton can't contain (alliteration) his depressed feelings inside himself, but instead just shows them off and makes people feel bad for him.

TS: Sydney Carton is someone who can improve himself as a person in many ways, which in return would help reduce his depression. SD: First of all, he needs to gain more confidence and not always be beating up on himself. CM: He constantly speaks to others about how terrible a person he is, and no one wants to hear that. CM: Carton has to believe he is useful instead of irrelevant (bell word) and unwanted and unsought (FAST word) by others (polsyndeton). SD: Carton can't keep (alliteration) going through life with barely any friends; he needs to befriend more people. CM: When he actually finds people who care about him, it will make him feel needed instead of rejected. CM: Friends will also keep him occupied and give him something to do other than sit around and mope. SD: Lastly, Carton needs to find himself a girlfriend, someone he can be of use too, someone who loves him, someone just like the gorgeous Lucie (Coordinate Cumulative Sentence with Simile). CM: A girlfriend would make him more lively and pleasant unlike his usual dreary (FAST word) self. CM: It would also give him something to live for each day, a beautiful face to grant him hope each day from there till his death. CS: Sydney says sour (alliteration) things about himself all the time, but he could become a better person if he just listens to my advice.

1) I can't help but feel bad for Sydney Carton. 2) He's never complaining, but you can always tell he's sad inside. 3) You wish he was living a better life, enjoying it more and glad to be alive, but it just isn't at all. 4) Sydney Carton needs to be happy and not feel useless; no one likes seeing him miserable all the time.

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Self-Assessment

1) I'm still continuing to work on mixing up my long and short sentences throughout my essay. The special effects do help me have longer sentences in some cases, but I feel like I have too many short sentences sometimes.

2) I like my polysyndeton in this essay. I believe it really improved my writing and fits well. My sentences wouldn't be any better without the polysyndeton.

3) My other special effects other than polysyndeton don't seem that great in this essay. I feel that I couldn't have made them a little better to help improve my essay, but couldn't think of a way too.

4) I would give myself a C+.

Essay #8

Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

11/16/10

Thesis: Humans are small compared to the universe.

Bell word: Analyze

Paragraph 1

Hook: Ever had trouble understanding part in book?

Hook Comment: I have many times in TOTC

Hook Comment: Usually just pass over it

Thesis (with bell word): Try to analyze this part of book

Paragraph 2

TS: First paragraph on page 183 terribly hard to understand

Echo Words: Evaluate and Interpret

SD: Humans think too highly of themselves for what we've done

CM: "...concentrated in a thin breadth line" referring to everything we consider big actually isn't

CM: Everything we've done considered small to the endless galaxy

SD: There's higher intelligences than us

CM: "...sublimer intelligences may read in the feeble shining of this earth of ours..."

CM: Our accomplishments are barely anything

CS: Many things for humans to still accomplish

Paragraph 3

TS: Paragraph can compare to my life

Echo words: Ponder and Think

SD: Humans have done many great things in my eyes

CM: Each building and road amazes me

CM: Couldn't imagine what we'd be without our intelligent creations

SD: Have no clue what greater intelligences can do

CM: Maybe watching over us

CM: Maybe created us

CS: Amazing to think about humans compared to the unknown intelligences

Paragraph 4

Hook: Ever think you could get this from analyzing one paragraph?

Hook Comment: Writers add things like this all the time

Hook Comment: Just got to take time to think about what authors saying

Thesis: Humans intelligent in our eyes, but what are we in the eyes of the unknown?

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Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

11/18/10

Trying to Understand Dickens:

An Essay on TOTC and My Life

1) Have you ever had trouble trying to understand something inside a book? 2) I know I have, many times too actually, especially inside the book Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. 3) Most of the time I would just pass over the part, thinking it to be way too hard to try and understand, but you should take time to try and understand it. 4) I'm going to try analyze a part of Tale of Two Cities to see how much I can get from it.

TS: The paragraph that Dickens wrote on page 183 in Tale of Two Cities is one of the most formidable (FAST word) paragraph's I've ever tried to understand (echo word). SD: Dickens believes humans tend to think too highly of themselves for what we've done. CM: Everything on the Earth that we've composed is "...concentrated [into] a thin breadth line", meaning that all things considered big in human's eyes are actually not at all. CM: When you evaluate (echo word) the sum of human's doings, it's truly nothing in comparison to the endless universe, something most people never take the time to think about (Appositive). SD: Dickens also puts the thought of higher intelligences than us into our heads. CM: The thought that "...sublimer intelligences may read in the feeble shining of this Earth of ours" is strange to think about, but it could be totally possible in Dickens mind. CM: My interpretation (echo word) of Dickens beliefs is that humans' accomplishments are barely anything to what the higher intelligences have done. CS: I extracted (echo word) out of this paragraph that humans still have many things yet to be fulfilled.

TS: Life today, oddly enough, can be connected to this paragraph Dickens wrote. SD: When I take time to think (echo word) about it, humans have done many exceptional things in their lives, and still have many things still to complete. CM: Each building and road amazes me; the thought of it all is mesmerizing (Fast word). CM: I couldn't imagine what our society would be like without all of our brilliant creations. SD: One of humans' flaws though is that we have no idea if there's any superior intelligences than us in this everlasting universe. CM: I sometimes take time to ponder (echo word) the thought that these intelligences might be out there just watching over us. CM: People have beliefs that god created us, but maybe these higher intelligences did instead, proud of what they created, a group that is filled with quite ingenious (Fast word) beings just like themselves (Coordinate Cumulative Sentence). CS: This paragraph relates to life nowadays still, opening our eyes to things we still have yet to figure out.

1) Did you ever think I could have captured this much from on little piece of writing? 2) Writers have these little parts of their writing where you think it would only make sense to them, but it could actually mean many things. 3) All you have to do is take time to think about it, and you'll never know what you'll think of. 4) Humans are very unpredictable and anything they write can be interpreted in many ways.

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Self-Assessment

1) I am still continuing to work on keeping my paragraph unified throughout. Sometimes I have trouble having a nice flow from each sentence to sentence. I really tried working on that in this essay.

2) I think I did well trying to analyze this paragraph the best I could because it definitely wasn't easy. I had a lot of trouble thinking of things to say, but I felt as if I did a pretty nice job anyways.

3) I could do a better job replacing words with better, more interesting words throughout my essay to spice it up a bit, but I'm not sure I did that well in this essay. I did have some good words, but some of them might be too common.

4) I would give myself only a C+ on this essay.

Graphic Organizer for Essay #7

Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

11/2/10

Graphic Organizer

Paragraph #1

TS: Don't think of peace much when reading TOTC

SD: Dickens is more of a dark type of writer

CM: Some of his characters are far from peaceful like Monseiur Marquis

CM: Some are so depressed and believe they'll never find peace like Carton

SD: Book takes place around Civil War

CM: Many references to "blood"

CM: (Use another reference to blood)

SD: Only peaceful thing is Manette's being reunited

CM: Being reunited after 20 years would definitely put mind at peace

CM: Lucie and the Doctor seem much more at peace now

Paragraph #2: Freestyle Writing on Poem

I. Poem makes me emotional, women still at peace even though is in wheelchair

II. The rain keeps the woman at peace (Explain further in sentences after)

Paragraph #3: Freestyle Writing About Life

I. Basketball is peace

II. Have everything I need, family, friends, and should be thankful

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Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

11/4/10

TS: Peace doesn't come to my mind often when thinking of Tale of Two Cities. SD: Some of Dickens character's have dark personalities, keeping to themselves, caring about no one but themselves, not worrying whatsoever about being peaceful, as if they have no conscience at all (Cumulative Sentence with a Simile). CM: Monseiur Marquis is that character of Dickens that really cherished no one other then himself. CM: Others, like Sydney Carton, are so depressed all the time that they seldomly ever smile. SD: This book takes place around the time of the civil war, a time where peace wasn't even mentioned, a time where no one felt safe, a time where much blood was spilt. CM: Dickens has exemplified "blood" quite a few times in the book so far. CM: In one chapter, a man writes the word "blood" on a wall using wine, stating the coming forth of the civil war. SD: There is only one part of this book that actually some what reminds me of peace, and that is when the Manette's reunite. CM: Being brought back together after 20 years must have unequivocally brought peace back to them. CM: When Doctor Manette was first described to us in the book before being reunited, he was old and deathly looking, but now he is more full of life and peaceful. TS: Dickens, in my eyes, believes that peace isn't very realistic, and that's why he doesn't mention it much in this book.

A Rainy Morning by Ted Kooser is a very emotional poem, but to me it directly relates to peace. The women in the poem has lost her ability to walk, but that doesn't stop her from finding peace. Being in wheelchair for her is something that she actually enjoys, even though it stops her from doing multiple things like most sports. She forgets all about her unfortunate disability and is able to be cheerful because of it. It is also raining in the poem, making an even more peaceful scene for the women in the poem. She is in love with the rain; the feeling of it makes her blessed to be alive. The rain helps her get through being in a wheelchair; the rain helped her master the wheelchair; the rain is her guide to peace. The women in this poem is a very strong person, and a great role model. She pushes on and finds peace, letting nothing at all stop her.

Peace can be found anywhere in your life, like sitting in your room just relaxing or running around in the rain. I consider it universal or infinite because anyone can find peace in their own way. I can find it in playing basketball, each shot taking complete concentration, a skill i've picked up, a form i've been practicing to find my perfect shot (Appositive). When I go to take a shot, everything seems to go into slow motion, creating a peaceful scene in my mind. Even watching it puts a good feeling inside me -- creates a feeling that wishes it could be just like the people it sees ( Verb Appositive). My life has everything I could possibly need at the moment to achieve peace. Family is a huge factor for my peace. Just being with my parents creates a sense of safeness for me. They always have the right things to say when I'm in need of it, pushing away and making me forget everything bad happening to me. You could almost speculate them bringing peace into my life as their duty, and I am exceedingly thankful for having them. On the court, at home, with family or watching television, are all kinds of places that peace can be found (Compound Subject).

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Self - Assessment

1) I'm still continuing to work on splitting up the amount of short and long sentences I have. I tried to have more longer sentences than I usually have in this essay, and I hope it helped improve my writing. It also makes the essay way more interesting to write by thinking of long, clever sentences.

2) I really thought my last paragraph in my essay was well written. I really put a lot of thought into it and said everything from the heart, making it a very powerful paragraph.

3) A weak point in this essay would most likely be my special effects. I had trouble finding spots to fit them in, and that's why I didn't put in a second verb appositive. I couldn't find a spot to put it where it would improve my essay.

4) I would give myself a C+ on this essay.

Essay #6

Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

10/19/10

Main Point: What you see in a mirror

Bell Word: Reflect/Reflections

Paragraph 1:

Hook: Have you ever been excited to look in a mirror?

Comment on hook: Are you happy at what you see?

Comment on hook: Think about what you wish you saw

Thesis: Your image should be something your proud of

Paragraph 2:

TS: Each of Dickens characters would reflect in a mirror differently

2 Echoes: Embody and Mimic

SD 1: Lucie would see beauty

CM: Everyone talks about her beauty

CM: Most guys would like to be with her

SD2: Dr. Manette would see how pitiful he looks

CM: He was stuck in prison for 20 years

CM: Also had missed his daughters entire beginning of life

SD3: Mr. Lorry would see nothing

CM: Always saying how he's only man of business

CM: He's seems robotic; not even alive

CS: Each character would see a different mimic of themselves in the mirror

Paragraph #3

TS: I'd see multiple different reflections of myself in a mirror

2 Echoes: Simulate and Casts back

SD1: I'd see happiness

CM: My life is pretty good at the moment

CM: Nothing drastically bad has happened to me

SD2: I'd see a little boy just starting his life

CM: Can be immature at times

CM: No idea what to do later in life

SD3: I'd see all I want to be

CM: Wish I was more skilled at sports

CM: Want to be smart in all subjects in school

CS: These name a few possible things seen when I look into a mirror, but I could name much more very easily.

Paragraph 4

Hook: Look into a mirror and think very deeply about the echo it shows of you.

Bell word: Copy

Hook Comment: Can you comprehend all that it shows you

Hook Comment: It shows all that you are

Thesis: Be happy about the copy the mirror made about you because it's what makes you different from the rest

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Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

10/25/10

Reflections:

An Essay on TOTC and My Life

1) Have you ever been excited to look in the mirror? 2) Are you happy at what the mirror shows you? 3) Now think about what you wish you actually saw in the mirror; think about what traits you don't want there, and which ones you want to keep. 4) You shouldn't have anything that you want to change because you should be proud of what the mirrors image reveals to you about yourself.

TS: Each of Dickens' characters are reflected differently in a mirror, each of them having different attributes, each of them either wishing they were someone completely different or liking exactly what the mirror reflects (Subordinate Cumulative Sentence). SD: Lucie Manette is one of those characters that would like the beauty the mirror mimics about her. CM: Mr. Stryver says "The picturesque doctor's daughter, Miss Manette" (Dickens, p. 94) referring to how beautiful she truly is. CM: Even if they don't admit it, most guys in the book would also like to be with her like when Mr. Stryver states to Mr. Carton, "Why, man alive, she was the admiration of the whole court!" (Dickens, p. 94). SD: All Dr. Manette would see is his pitifulness. CM: He had been stuck in a prison for 20 years of his life just "..bent over shoes" (Dickens, p. 43), which would reflect upon his appearance in a mirror. CM: This also means he was without his beloved daughter Lucie too, leaving him without his most important thing in life for 20 years. SD: Mr. Lorry is a completely different story compared to the Manette's from what he'd see in a mirror. CM: Mr. Lorry would see barely anything in a mirror because he's more a machine than human. CM: He constantly says how "he's a [man] of business" (Dickens, p. 86) and lets it run his life, making him no human in my eyes. CS: A mirror not only shows appearance, but reflects on the personality of the person too.

TS: There are multiple things a mirror would reveal about me. SD: The mirror would show my smile, a happy smile, a smile that enjoys life, a smile showing no regrets, revealing nothing bad about its past, a past with nothing bad to reveal (Mixed Cumulative Sentence). CM: My life has been pretty cheerful so far since nothing in my past has been particularly awful. CM: I should be glad about what the mirror casts back at me because I'm doing substantial in everything important to me at the moment like sports. SD: While peering into a mirror, I would see someone much younger than me at times. CM: I can be very immature at times for my age, but usually only outside of school. CM: I'd also see a child for the fact that I have no clue what I want to be when older. SD: Lastly, the mirror would simulate an image of everything I wish I was. CM: It would show a bigger, more athletic version of myself. CM: It would secondly show a much smarter portrait of me, who is prudent at all subjects in school, not just some of them. CS: A realistic mirror would show no more than your appearance, but using my imagination I can make the mirror reveal much more than that.

1) Look into a mirror and think deeply about the echo of you that bounces off of it. 2) Can you comprehend all that it shows you? 3) All it is showing you is everything you are and could be. 4) You should be thankful for the copy the mirror makes of you because it's what makes you different from the rest, just like how Dickens' characters are all very different from each other.

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Self-Assessment

1) I'm still continuing to work on comma's, and where to put them. Sometimes when I read my sentences, I hear a pause so I immediately think to put a comma when there shouldn't be one. I have been getting better though.

2) I like my first body paragraph quite a bit. I worked very hard on it and made it to the best of my ability. I think the paragraph is very unified also.

3) I don't think my subordinate cumulative sentences came out as great as I would have liked. I tried hard on them, but I feel like I just haven't grasped the concept of them yet.

4) I would give myself a C+ on this essay.

Essay #5

Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

10/12/10

Seeing Your Father For The First Time:

An Essay On TTC and My Life

1) Imagine not having your father for the first 20 years of your life, and then suddenly you figure out he's alive. 2) Charles Dickens loves making situations like this come to life in his books. 3) He puts a clear image in your mind of how the characters are feeling during these moments, making you almost feel how the characters feel. 4) Dickens makes a living off painting pictures in your head, creating you to think deeply about what is happening.

TS: Charles Dickens really took his time portraying the moment between Lucie and her father. SD: Reuniting with your father after many years of thinking he is dead is no easy chore, but Lucie and Mr. Manette dealt with it like anyone would, using their tears. CM: Lucy constantly repeated the words “weep for it, weep for it!” (Dickens, 48), trying to get her father to remember everything he used to have. CM: They both were completely filled with tears, realizing how much they truly needed to be brought back together. SD: Dickens uses antithesis to bring out this moment to the readers. CM: When he says “A sight so touching, yet so terrible in the tremendous wrong and suffering which had gone before it,” (Dickens, 48) really shows us how hard it must have been to watch something like this happening right before your eyes. CM: It is such a hard moment to explain, so much suffering, so many tears of joy, too difficult to comprehend, never enough tears to show what they are truly going through. (Coordinate Cumulative Sentence). SD: Lastly, Dickens employs metaphors into his writing. CM: He is talking about the true connection happening between Lucie and her father when he says,"His cold white head mingled with her radiant hair, which warned and lighted it as though it were the light of Freedom shining on him” (Dickens, 48). CM: Mr. Manette feels free while being in the arms of his daughter after 20 years of waiting. CS: Dickens makes me even become emotional by describing this in such ways that I feel as if I’m there.

TS: My dad has been in my life ever since I was born, and I couldn't imagine reuniting with him after 20 years of thinking he's dead; I would be feeling many emotions. SD: First of all, I would be overjoyed to figure out my dad was alive. CM: Family is vital to me, and I like being around them as much as possible. CM: I especially need my parents because they do so much for me, and for me to figure out my dad is still living; it would improve my life immensely. SD: I'd also be feeling dejected knowing that my father had been missing from my life for a whole 20 years. CM: I'd be filled with sadness since I had missed out on all of the father-son bonding when I was younger. CM: Not only that, but a son needs his father to teach him all he needs to know when becoming an adult, leaving me without that knowledge. SD: Lastly, I would be infuriated, always wanting to know everything, always keeping a straight face, always holding it in, never letting the emotions do the talking (Coordinate Cumulative Sentence). CM: I would confront whoever lied to me about his death even though I know they did it for my own good. CM: I'd need to to know why my father had left my life, while unknowingly still alive to my surprise after 20 years. TS: This happening to me for real would be incomprehensible to think about because I need my father throughout my entire life; not just the second half of it.

1) I felt a lot of emotion from this part of the book, being without a father for 20 years just really got to me. 2) Dickens describes certain sections of his books so well I have a hard time not feeling anything from reading them. 3) He finds ways to put the readers in the position of the character and make us think about if we were in their role. 4) I wouldn't want to be one of Dickens characters because they have to go through so much.

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Self-Assessment

1) I'm continuing to work on not using comma splices. I'm still learning to use my semi colons to avoid the comma splices.

2) I really love the first paragraph. I worked very hard on making it interesting to the reader because I really liked writing it and reading it over.

3) My second paragraph isn't nearly as strong as my first, but my first one really carries he entire essay.

4) I would give myself a B-.

Martha's Vineyard Writing

Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

10/10/10

Reflection

Wood’s Hole turned out to be more intriguing than I had first thought. We started our journey at the National Marine Fisheries Aquarium (NMPH). We began by watching a woman that taught us about seals and sea lions, while also having them do tricks such as the banana lay, jumping in the air to reach a toy, and twirling. Them we went inside where many exhibits and tanks containing a variety of fish were. My favorite fish of all was the toadfish. It is not only one of the few types of fish to be launched to space, but it is also one of the most laziest and hideous fish in the sea. It almost most resembles me in a way since I too can be lazy and sluggish. The other place we travelled to be known as the Wood’s Hole Oceanographic Institute. Here we learned about marine research vessels like the Alvin, a submersible vehicle that has done over 6000 dives. The most extravagant face I explored was involving the hydrothermal vents; cylinder shaped tubes that pump out high temperature gases form the earth. I was looking much more forward to Martha’s Vineyard, but Wood’s Hole was actually really thrilling, making it and adventure I will remember later in life.

Freestyle Writing

Too Much Rain

I am soaked. Rain has fallen from the sky the entire day. The clouds have been endlessly crying, making my day miserable as well. I had to tread through trails with my only pair of shoes, leaving me stuck with cold, wet, uncomfortable footwear for the rest of my time in the Vineyard. I ask the clouds to please be happy; to show me some sunshine, but they just keep shedding their tears on me. I continue to be drenched with water, wishing for the day to just end. Then the wind comes along, knowing I am already depressed and cold. He starts blowing more wind at me, creating a freezing sensation throughout my body. I am now wet and completely frozen. This day needs to end. When I finally can’t bear it anymore, I am back in shelter. This day has taken me to my limit. It is almost over now. I can relax and take a warm shower, relieving my body of that freezing sensation, ending all of my suffering. The day is finally over, and I am dry.

Freestyle

Why am I so Tired?

Why am I so tired? I don’t understand. I went to bed on time, but it is still hard for me to stand. I am exhausted. I can’t wake up this early. It puts me in too much of a hurry. Why am I so tired? I wish I knew the answer, but I can’t seem to figure it out. All I do is pout. I am fatigued. I ended up being the last one ready. My mind just isn’t thinking steady. I am depressed now. I don’t even feel like speaking to anybody. I just want to be away from everybody. Why am I so tired? I was having so much fun, but my body is trying to tell me,” we’re done”. I don’t want to believe him. Everything is starting to grow dim. I am just so tired.

Acrostic Poem

Sunset

So many beautiful colors mixed together in the sky.

Under the sun, watching it disappear over the horizon, turning everything around us to darkness as it left.

No one in the world would not enjoy watching its beauty.

Such a gorgeous sight to watch.

Everybody thought it was perfect, nothing could ruin this sunset.

Tackling the waves afterwards for a late night swim.

Essay #3

Nolan B.

9/28/10

Mr. Salsich

English 9

1) Personification is used a lot among writers, especially by Charles Dickson. 2) Charles Dickson loves using personification almost more than any other writing tool. 3) He's very good at it too, but he uses it so much it would be weird if he wasn't good at it. 4) Without personification, Charles Dickson's books would not have nearly as much flare as they have with it.

TS: A volcano isn't have much importance in my life besides that they interest me, but volcanoes are things that relate to people in many ways. SD: A volcano can get angry very easily. CM: When a volcano gets vexed, it tries taking it out on other things by using lava, keeping away any invaders, leaving everything near it in complete devastation, making anything close to it to flee in fear, putting fumes in the air (40+ word sentence) . CM: A volcano doesn't get enraged often, but when it does it does a huge amount of damage. SD: Most volcanoes are very lonely. CM: They are feared and dangerous, keeping most living things away from them. CM: They can't help being dangerous though, it is uncontrollable. SD: Volcano's are also boring if you think about it. CM: They just sit there not even acknowledging and oblivious to everything around it. CM: They don't do anything other spit at you with lava every once in a while. CS: Volcanoes are just like everyday humans, just a lot bigger and not alive.

TS: My basement snatches me up every time I'm home, holding me there until I have to leave the house. SD: The basement to my house is the most cherished room by me. CM: He is friendly to me by having everything you could possibly want in a room. CM: He also always has his fridge filled with waters whenever I'm in need of a beverage. SD: My basement keeps me entertained for hours at a time. CM: He lures me into using the television or computer he stores in the room. CM: He even has a exercise machine to keep me fit, which points at the fridge, manipulating me to use whatever is in there. SD: My basement can be deceitful too though. CM: He hides things from me sometimes, making me have to frantically search for it through the entire room. CM: He even forgets to have the fridge filled up, leaving me tortured without a drink. CS: My basement is the room I spend the most time in, but only because he bribes me to go in there with all his many ways of entertainment.

TS:

Essay #2

Nolan B.

9/22/10

Mr. Salsich

English 9

Humans Are Filled With Secrets:

An Essay on the Book Tale of Two Cities

1) Secrets are huge among humans. 2) People need secrets to themselves because they don't want people to know everything about them. 3) Secrets are important for things only you want to know about, so keep them to yourself. 4) There is no person in the entire world without a secret.

TS: Charles Dickens has many idea's that are difficult to understand like his idea of how everyone has secrets, and no one can know someone else completely. SD: When he said,"that every beating heart in the hundreds of thousands of breasts there, is, in some its imaginings, a secret to the heart nearest it!", I got the idea of Dickens thinking everyone has some type of secret kept to themselves. CM: I think Dickens thinks that even if two people are very close, and it seems like they know every little detail about each other, they really don't at all. CM: He refers to this immensely throughout the paragraph so I really can't of any other ways he could mean by this. SD: He also talks about how his neighbor, friend, and his love of his life are all dead. CM: I think he means they are all dead to him by this because he will never truly know the entire person each of them are. CM: Dickens seems to really believe that he could never know the true someone, a certain belief he probably picked up after listening to all the lies and secrets when he worked in the courtroom (Appositive). CS: Dickens does has some odd ways of saying things, but when you really think and interpret what he's actually saying, he makes a lot of sense.

TS: A human having unknown secrets is like a frozen lake. SD: The ice on top of the lake is hard to break through, making it tough to reach the water under it. CM: The ice is like someone's trust, you have to earn their trust before they'll let you in. CM: If you break through the ice or earn their trust, they will share they deepest secrets with you. SD: The fish under a frozen lake are hidden, just like someone hiding a secret. CM: As a fisherman, you could try to catch those cloaked fish, learning all their concealed secrets if you do. CM: This isn't an easy feat though, you must wait in the freezing cold and be careful the ice doesn't break or you won't get to those secrets. SD: I have secrets too that I withheld inside me just like the frozen lake withholds its. CM: I won't tell any though because I need to trust you completely before I let them go. CM: I am like a frozen lake, you must break through my ice before you get to the shrouded things inside. CS: A frozen lake like a person with secrets, unexpected but a perfect comparison.

1) There are secrets hidden in everyone. 2) People have secrets so other people don't know as much about them as they do. 3) Some people think they know everything about each other, but there is no way that's possible. 4) Life without secrets is no life at all.

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Self-Assessment

1) I'm still working on my punctuation mistakes. I have trouble finding them and use comma's in the wrong places sometimes.

2) I really like my simile for my second paragraph. I thought it was different and the paragraph turned out great in my eyes too.

3) My first paragraph seems pretty weak compared to my second one. I don't think it came out as great as I wanted.

4) I would give myself a C+ on this essay.

Essay #1

Nolan B.

9/14/10

Mr. Salsich

English 9

Summer Ending, School Starting

1) Summer is an important part of every kids life, most of them it's their favorite part, but school comes right after it, something not as liked by kids. 2) Summer is full of fun and then school is serious, almost making a perfect row of events. 3) Summer would almost be boring without knowing school is after it because you want to have as much fun as you can before school starts. 4) Summer and school together take up a huge part of a kids life.

TS: The song "Summers Almost Gone" by the Doors reminds me most of summer coming to a halt and school starting. SD: It's pretty obvious from the title of the song that it's about summer ending and reminds me of it ending in a couple ways. CM: The music of the song is depressing just like you being depressed summer is gone, making you sad, wishing you still had time to play, hoping you could have your summer all over again (Long Sentence w/ multiple participle phrases). CM: It is also a very slow song, almost representing you because you are now tired from all the activities from the summer, and you walk around sluggishly like you did too much to handle. SD: School starting also comes to mind after listening to this song. CM: The lyrics, "Morning found us calmly unaware" hugely reminds me of school because your almost never prepared to begin school after those many mornings of sleeping in. CM: "We had some good times, but they're gone" lyrics revive my memories of school beginning because we do many fun things during summer, but they disappear when schools starts, making us become more serious. CS: "Summers Almost Gone" is the perfect song to represent when summer ends, but new adventures with school starting.

TS: It was tough to think of a movie connecting both to summer ending and school starting, but after thinking for a bit, I thought the movie "Sunshine" fit the best. SD: The end of the summer is connected in many ways to this movie. CM: In the movie, the sun is dying, just like at the end of summer the sun almost seems as if it's dying since we see the sun less and less, almost like it is withering away. CM: They also try to save the sun and stop it from going out in the movie, and we don't want the summers end just like we wouldn't want the sun to die. SD: This movie can be connected to school starting too. CM: The earth in the movie is very dark since the sun is getting less bright, less fiery, and less noticeable, which connects to school because each of our worlds get less bright during school since we're usually stuck inside doing homework (parallelism). CM: The earth is very cold and snowy too in "Sunshine", similar to how it gets a little while after school begins. CS: The movie wasn't directed to summer ending and school starting whatsoever, but I was able to make a connection anyways.

1) Summer is nothing without school right after it and school is also nothing without summer. 2) School would be endless without summer trailing after it, but kids need there fun time. 3) Summer is definitely really short if compared to school, but its the perfect amount of time for a break even though the day of summers end and school start, is one of the most dreaded days for kids each year. 4) Summer and school complement each other very well.

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Self-Assessment

1) I'm still working on trying to combine short and long sentence together into my essays. Right now I feel like I don't have enough of either in this essay.

2) I really like my special effects in this essay. I think they really made it way more interesting and added a lot to the essay.

3) My concluding sentences probably aren't as strong as they should be, but I do think they wrap up each paragraph well.

4) I would give myself a C+.

Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

9/10/10

Freestyle Writing

Sadness. What is Sadness? Sadness is something no one likes to feel. I rarely ever try to seem sad, but sometimes it seems almost uncontrollable. Uncontrollable in which you burst into tears immediately after hearing something you don't want to hear. Crying is one of the most obvious ways of knowing someone's sad even though it could be happy tears. Crying is something I don't like doing, and I hadn't done it in a while until yesterday when my dog died. This caused me to cry uncontrollably even though I didn't want too. When I think about it though, I had to cry because something I loved was gone from my life just like that.