Essay #8

Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

11/16/10

Thesis: Humans are small compared to the universe.

Bell word: Analyze

Paragraph 1

Hook: Ever had trouble understanding part in book?

Hook Comment: I have many times in TOTC

Hook Comment: Usually just pass over it

Thesis (with bell word): Try to analyze this part of book

Paragraph 2

TS: First paragraph on page 183 terribly hard to understand

Echo Words: Evaluate and Interpret

SD: Humans think too highly of themselves for what we've done

CM: "...concentrated in a thin breadth line" referring to everything we consider big actually isn't

CM: Everything we've done considered small to the endless galaxy

SD: There's higher intelligences than us

CM: "...sublimer intelligences may read in the feeble shining of this earth of ours..."

CM: Our accomplishments are barely anything

CS: Many things for humans to still accomplish

Paragraph 3

TS: Paragraph can compare to my life

Echo words: Ponder and Think

SD: Humans have done many great things in my eyes

CM: Each building and road amazes me

CM: Couldn't imagine what we'd be without our intelligent creations

SD: Have no clue what greater intelligences can do

CM: Maybe watching over us

CM: Maybe created us

CS: Amazing to think about humans compared to the unknown intelligences

Paragraph 4

Hook: Ever think you could get this from analyzing one paragraph?

Hook Comment: Writers add things like this all the time

Hook Comment: Just got to take time to think about what authors saying

Thesis: Humans intelligent in our eyes, but what are we in the eyes of the unknown?

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Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

11/18/10

Trying to Understand Dickens:

An Essay on TOTC and My Life

1) Have you ever had trouble trying to understand something inside a book? 2) I know I have, many times too actually, especially inside the book Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. 3) Most of the time I would just pass over the part, thinking it to be way too hard to try and understand, but you should take time to try and understand it. 4) I'm going to try analyze a part of Tale of Two Cities to see how much I can get from it.

TS: The paragraph that Dickens wrote on page 183 in Tale of Two Cities is one of the most formidable (FAST word) paragraph's I've ever tried to understand (echo word). SD: Dickens believes humans tend to think too highly of themselves for what we've done. CM: Everything on the Earth that we've composed is "...concentrated [into] a thin breadth line", meaning that all things considered big in human's eyes are actually not at all. CM: When you evaluate (echo word) the sum of human's doings, it's truly nothing in comparison to the endless universe, something most people never take the time to think about (Appositive). SD: Dickens also puts the thought of higher intelligences than us into our heads. CM: The thought that "...sublimer intelligences may read in the feeble shining of this Earth of ours" is strange to think about, but it could be totally possible in Dickens mind. CM: My interpretation (echo word) of Dickens beliefs is that humans' accomplishments are barely anything to what the higher intelligences have done. CS: I extracted (echo word) out of this paragraph that humans still have many things yet to be fulfilled.

TS: Life today, oddly enough, can be connected to this paragraph Dickens wrote. SD: When I take time to think (echo word) about it, humans have done many exceptional things in their lives, and still have many things still to complete. CM: Each building and road amazes me; the thought of it all is mesmerizing (Fast word). CM: I couldn't imagine what our society would be like without all of our brilliant creations. SD: One of humans' flaws though is that we have no idea if there's any superior intelligences than us in this everlasting universe. CM: I sometimes take time to ponder (echo word) the thought that these intelligences might be out there just watching over us. CM: People have beliefs that god created us, but maybe these higher intelligences did instead, proud of what they created, a group that is filled with quite ingenious (Fast word) beings just like themselves (Coordinate Cumulative Sentence). CS: This paragraph relates to life nowadays still, opening our eyes to things we still have yet to figure out.

1) Did you ever think I could have captured this much from on little piece of writing? 2) Writers have these little parts of their writing where you think it would only make sense to them, but it could actually mean many things. 3) All you have to do is take time to think about it, and you'll never know what you'll think of. 4) Humans are very unpredictable and anything they write can be interpreted in many ways.

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Self-Assessment

1) I am still continuing to work on keeping my paragraph unified throughout. Sometimes I have trouble having a nice flow from each sentence to sentence. I really tried working on that in this essay.

2) I think I did well trying to analyze this paragraph the best I could because it definitely wasn't easy. I had a lot of trouble thinking of things to say, but I felt as if I did a pretty nice job anyways.

3) I could do a better job replacing words with better, more interesting words throughout my essay to spice it up a bit, but I'm not sure I did that well in this essay. I did have some good words, but some of them might be too common.

4) I would give myself only a C+ on this essay.