Essay #6

Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

10/19/10

Main Point: What you see in a mirror

Bell Word: Reflect/Reflections

Paragraph 1:

Hook: Have you ever been excited to look in a mirror?

Comment on hook: Are you happy at what you see?

Comment on hook: Think about what you wish you saw

Thesis: Your image should be something your proud of

Paragraph 2:

TS: Each of Dickens characters would reflect in a mirror differently

2 Echoes: Embody and Mimic

SD 1: Lucie would see beauty

CM: Everyone talks about her beauty

CM: Most guys would like to be with her

SD2: Dr. Manette would see how pitiful he looks

CM: He was stuck in prison for 20 years

CM: Also had missed his daughters entire beginning of life

SD3: Mr. Lorry would see nothing

CM: Always saying how he's only man of business

CM: He's seems robotic; not even alive

CS: Each character would see a different mimic of themselves in the mirror

Paragraph #3

TS: I'd see multiple different reflections of myself in a mirror

2 Echoes: Simulate and Casts back

SD1: I'd see happiness

CM: My life is pretty good at the moment

CM: Nothing drastically bad has happened to me

SD2: I'd see a little boy just starting his life

CM: Can be immature at times

CM: No idea what to do later in life

SD3: I'd see all I want to be

CM: Wish I was more skilled at sports

CM: Want to be smart in all subjects in school

CS: These name a few possible things seen when I look into a mirror, but I could name much more very easily.

Paragraph 4

Hook: Look into a mirror and think very deeply about the echo it shows of you.

Bell word: Copy

Hook Comment: Can you comprehend all that it shows you

Hook Comment: It shows all that you are

Thesis: Be happy about the copy the mirror made about you because it's what makes you different from the rest

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Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

10/25/10

Reflections:

An Essay on TOTC and My Life

1) Have you ever been excited to look in the mirror? 2) Are you happy at what the mirror shows you? 3) Now think about what you wish you actually saw in the mirror; think about what traits you don't want there, and which ones you want to keep. 4) You shouldn't have anything that you want to change because you should be proud of what the mirrors image reveals to you about yourself.

TS: Each of Dickens' characters are reflected differently in a mirror, each of them having different attributes, each of them either wishing they were someone completely different or liking exactly what the mirror reflects (Subordinate Cumulative Sentence). SD: Lucie Manette is one of those characters that would like the beauty the mirror mimics about her. CM: Mr. Stryver says "The picturesque doctor's daughter, Miss Manette" (Dickens, p. 94) referring to how beautiful she truly is. CM: Even if they don't admit it, most guys in the book would also like to be with her like when Mr. Stryver states to Mr. Carton, "Why, man alive, she was the admiration of the whole court!" (Dickens, p. 94). SD: All Dr. Manette would see is his pitifulness. CM: He had been stuck in a prison for 20 years of his life just "..bent over shoes" (Dickens, p. 43), which would reflect upon his appearance in a mirror. CM: This also means he was without his beloved daughter Lucie too, leaving him without his most important thing in life for 20 years. SD: Mr. Lorry is a completely different story compared to the Manette's from what he'd see in a mirror. CM: Mr. Lorry would see barely anything in a mirror because he's more a machine than human. CM: He constantly says how "he's a [man] of business" (Dickens, p. 86) and lets it run his life, making him no human in my eyes. CS: A mirror not only shows appearance, but reflects on the personality of the person too.

TS: There are multiple things a mirror would reveal about me. SD: The mirror would show my smile, a happy smile, a smile that enjoys life, a smile showing no regrets, revealing nothing bad about its past, a past with nothing bad to reveal (Mixed Cumulative Sentence). CM: My life has been pretty cheerful so far since nothing in my past has been particularly awful. CM: I should be glad about what the mirror casts back at me because I'm doing substantial in everything important to me at the moment like sports. SD: While peering into a mirror, I would see someone much younger than me at times. CM: I can be very immature at times for my age, but usually only outside of school. CM: I'd also see a child for the fact that I have no clue what I want to be when older. SD: Lastly, the mirror would simulate an image of everything I wish I was. CM: It would show a bigger, more athletic version of myself. CM: It would secondly show a much smarter portrait of me, who is prudent at all subjects in school, not just some of them. CS: A realistic mirror would show no more than your appearance, but using my imagination I can make the mirror reveal much more than that.

1) Look into a mirror and think deeply about the echo of you that bounces off of it. 2) Can you comprehend all that it shows you? 3) All it is showing you is everything you are and could be. 4) You should be thankful for the copy the mirror makes of you because it's what makes you different from the rest, just like how Dickens' characters are all very different from each other.

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Self-Assessment

1) I'm still continuing to work on comma's, and where to put them. Sometimes when I read my sentences, I hear a pause so I immediately think to put a comma when there shouldn't be one. I have been getting better though.

2) I like my first body paragraph quite a bit. I worked very hard on it and made it to the best of my ability. I think the paragraph is very unified also.

3) I don't think my subordinate cumulative sentences came out as great as I would have liked. I tried hard on them, but I feel like I just haven't grasped the concept of them yet.

4) I would give myself a C+ on this essay.