Essay #6

Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

10/19/10

Main Point: What you see in a mirror

Bell Word: Reflect/Reflections

Paragraph 1:

Hook: Have you ever been excited to look in a mirror?

Comment on hook: Are you happy at what you see?

Comment on hook: Think about what you wish you saw

Thesis: Your image should be something your proud of

Paragraph 2:

TS: Each of Dickens characters would reflect in a mirror differently

2 Echoes: Embody and Mimic

SD 1: Lucie would see beauty

CM: Everyone talks about her beauty

CM: Most guys would like to be with her

SD2: Dr. Manette would see how pitiful he looks

CM: He was stuck in prison for 20 years

CM: Also had missed his daughters entire beginning of life

SD3: Mr. Lorry would see nothing

CM: Always saying how he's only man of business

CM: He's seems robotic; not even alive

CS: Each character would see a different mimic of themselves in the mirror

Paragraph #3

TS: I'd see multiple different reflections of myself in a mirror

2 Echoes: Simulate and Casts back

SD1: I'd see happiness

CM: My life is pretty good at the moment

CM: Nothing drastically bad has happened to me

SD2: I'd see a little boy just starting his life

CM: Can be immature at times

CM: No idea what to do later in life

SD3: I'd see all I want to be

CM: Wish I was more skilled at sports

CM: Want to be smart in all subjects in school

CS: These name a few possible things seen when I look into a mirror, but I could name much more very easily.

Paragraph 4

Hook: Look into a mirror and think very deeply about the echo it shows of you.

Bell word: Copy

Hook Comment: Can you comprehend all that it shows you

Hook Comment: It shows all that you are

Thesis: Be happy about the copy the mirror made about you because it's what makes you different from the rest

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Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

10/25/10

Reflections:

An Essay on TOTC and My Life

1) Have you ever been excited to look in the mirror? 2) Are you happy at what the mirror shows you? 3) Now think about what you wish you actually saw in the mirror; think about what traits you don't want there, and which ones you want to keep. 4) You shouldn't have anything that you want to change because you should be proud of what the mirrors image reveals to you about yourself.

TS: Each of Dickens' characters are reflected differently in a mirror, each of them having different attributes, each of them either wishing they were someone completely different or liking exactly what the mirror reflects (Subordinate Cumulative Sentence). SD: Lucie Manette is one of those characters that would like the beauty the mirror mimics about her. CM: Mr. Stryver says "The picturesque doctor's daughter, Miss Manette" (Dickens, p. 94) referring to how beautiful she truly is. CM: Even if they don't admit it, most guys in the book would also like to be with her like when Mr. Stryver states to Mr. Carton, "Why, man alive, she was the admiration of the whole court!" (Dickens, p. 94). SD: All Dr. Manette would see is his pitifulness. CM: He had been stuck in a prison for 20 years of his life just "..bent over shoes" (Dickens, p. 43), which would reflect upon his appearance in a mirror. CM: This also means he was without his beloved daughter Lucie too, leaving him without his most important thing in life for 20 years. SD: Mr. Lorry is a completely different story compared to the Manette's from what he'd see in a mirror. CM: Mr. Lorry would see barely anything in a mirror because he's more a machine than human. CM: He constantly says how "he's a [man] of business" (Dickens, p. 86) and lets it run his life, making him no human in my eyes. CS: A mirror not only shows appearance, but reflects on the personality of the person too.

TS: There are multiple things a mirror would reveal about me. SD: The mirror would show my smile, a happy smile, a smile that enjoys life, a smile showing no regrets, revealing nothing bad about its past, a past with nothing bad to reveal (Mixed Cumulative Sentence). CM: My life has been pretty cheerful so far since nothing in my past has been particularly awful. CM: I should be glad about what the mirror casts back at me because I'm doing substantial in everything important to me at the moment like sports. SD: While peering into a mirror, I would see someone much younger than me at times. CM: I can be very immature at times for my age, but usually only outside of school. CM: I'd also see a child for the fact that I have no clue what I want to be when older. SD: Lastly, the mirror would simulate an image of everything I wish I was. CM: It would show a bigger, more athletic version of myself. CM: It would secondly show a much smarter portrait of me, who is prudent at all subjects in school, not just some of them. CS: A realistic mirror would show no more than your appearance, but using my imagination I can make the mirror reveal much more than that.

1) Look into a mirror and think deeply about the echo of you that bounces off of it. 2) Can you comprehend all that it shows you? 3) All it is showing you is everything you are and could be. 4) You should be thankful for the copy the mirror makes of you because it's what makes you different from the rest, just like how Dickens' characters are all very different from each other.

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Self-Assessment

1) I'm still continuing to work on comma's, and where to put them. Sometimes when I read my sentences, I hear a pause so I immediately think to put a comma when there shouldn't be one. I have been getting better though.

2) I like my first body paragraph quite a bit. I worked very hard on it and made it to the best of my ability. I think the paragraph is very unified also.

3) I don't think my subordinate cumulative sentences came out as great as I would have liked. I tried hard on them, but I feel like I just haven't grasped the concept of them yet.

4) I would give myself a C+ on this essay.

Essay #5

Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

10/12/10

Seeing Your Father For The First Time:

An Essay On TTC and My Life

1) Imagine not having your father for the first 20 years of your life, and then suddenly you figure out he's alive. 2) Charles Dickens loves making situations like this come to life in his books. 3) He puts a clear image in your mind of how the characters are feeling during these moments, making you almost feel how the characters feel. 4) Dickens makes a living off painting pictures in your head, creating you to think deeply about what is happening.

TS: Charles Dickens really took his time portraying the moment between Lucie and her father. SD: Reuniting with your father after many years of thinking he is dead is no easy chore, but Lucie and Mr. Manette dealt with it like anyone would, using their tears. CM: Lucy constantly repeated the words “weep for it, weep for it!” (Dickens, 48), trying to get her father to remember everything he used to have. CM: They both were completely filled with tears, realizing how much they truly needed to be brought back together. SD: Dickens uses antithesis to bring out this moment to the readers. CM: When he says “A sight so touching, yet so terrible in the tremendous wrong and suffering which had gone before it,” (Dickens, 48) really shows us how hard it must have been to watch something like this happening right before your eyes. CM: It is such a hard moment to explain, so much suffering, so many tears of joy, too difficult to comprehend, never enough tears to show what they are truly going through. (Coordinate Cumulative Sentence). SD: Lastly, Dickens employs metaphors into his writing. CM: He is talking about the true connection happening between Lucie and her father when he says,"His cold white head mingled with her radiant hair, which warned and lighted it as though it were the light of Freedom shining on him” (Dickens, 48). CM: Mr. Manette feels free while being in the arms of his daughter after 20 years of waiting. CS: Dickens makes me even become emotional by describing this in such ways that I feel as if I’m there.

TS: My dad has been in my life ever since I was born, and I couldn't imagine reuniting with him after 20 years of thinking he's dead; I would be feeling many emotions. SD: First of all, I would be overjoyed to figure out my dad was alive. CM: Family is vital to me, and I like being around them as much as possible. CM: I especially need my parents because they do so much for me, and for me to figure out my dad is still living; it would improve my life immensely. SD: I'd also be feeling dejected knowing that my father had been missing from my life for a whole 20 years. CM: I'd be filled with sadness since I had missed out on all of the father-son bonding when I was younger. CM: Not only that, but a son needs his father to teach him all he needs to know when becoming an adult, leaving me without that knowledge. SD: Lastly, I would be infuriated, always wanting to know everything, always keeping a straight face, always holding it in, never letting the emotions do the talking (Coordinate Cumulative Sentence). CM: I would confront whoever lied to me about his death even though I know they did it for my own good. CM: I'd need to to know why my father had left my life, while unknowingly still alive to my surprise after 20 years. TS: This happening to me for real would be incomprehensible to think about because I need my father throughout my entire life; not just the second half of it.

1) I felt a lot of emotion from this part of the book, being without a father for 20 years just really got to me. 2) Dickens describes certain sections of his books so well I have a hard time not feeling anything from reading them. 3) He finds ways to put the readers in the position of the character and make us think about if we were in their role. 4) I wouldn't want to be one of Dickens characters because they have to go through so much.

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Self-Assessment

1) I'm continuing to work on not using comma splices. I'm still learning to use my semi colons to avoid the comma splices.

2) I really love the first paragraph. I worked very hard on making it interesting to the reader because I really liked writing it and reading it over.

3) My second paragraph isn't nearly as strong as my first, but my first one really carries he entire essay.

4) I would give myself a B-.

Martha's Vineyard Writing

Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

10/10/10

Reflection

Wood’s Hole turned out to be more intriguing than I had first thought. We started our journey at the National Marine Fisheries Aquarium (NMPH). We began by watching a woman that taught us about seals and sea lions, while also having them do tricks such as the banana lay, jumping in the air to reach a toy, and twirling. Them we went inside where many exhibits and tanks containing a variety of fish were. My favorite fish of all was the toadfish. It is not only one of the few types of fish to be launched to space, but it is also one of the most laziest and hideous fish in the sea. It almost most resembles me in a way since I too can be lazy and sluggish. The other place we travelled to be known as the Wood’s Hole Oceanographic Institute. Here we learned about marine research vessels like the Alvin, a submersible vehicle that has done over 6000 dives. The most extravagant face I explored was involving the hydrothermal vents; cylinder shaped tubes that pump out high temperature gases form the earth. I was looking much more forward to Martha’s Vineyard, but Wood’s Hole was actually really thrilling, making it and adventure I will remember later in life.

Freestyle Writing

Too Much Rain

I am soaked. Rain has fallen from the sky the entire day. The clouds have been endlessly crying, making my day miserable as well. I had to tread through trails with my only pair of shoes, leaving me stuck with cold, wet, uncomfortable footwear for the rest of my time in the Vineyard. I ask the clouds to please be happy; to show me some sunshine, but they just keep shedding their tears on me. I continue to be drenched with water, wishing for the day to just end. Then the wind comes along, knowing I am already depressed and cold. He starts blowing more wind at me, creating a freezing sensation throughout my body. I am now wet and completely frozen. This day needs to end. When I finally can’t bear it anymore, I am back in shelter. This day has taken me to my limit. It is almost over now. I can relax and take a warm shower, relieving my body of that freezing sensation, ending all of my suffering. The day is finally over, and I am dry.

Freestyle

Why am I so Tired?

Why am I so tired? I don’t understand. I went to bed on time, but it is still hard for me to stand. I am exhausted. I can’t wake up this early. It puts me in too much of a hurry. Why am I so tired? I wish I knew the answer, but I can’t seem to figure it out. All I do is pout. I am fatigued. I ended up being the last one ready. My mind just isn’t thinking steady. I am depressed now. I don’t even feel like speaking to anybody. I just want to be away from everybody. Why am I so tired? I was having so much fun, but my body is trying to tell me,” we’re done”. I don’t want to believe him. Everything is starting to grow dim. I am just so tired.

Acrostic Poem

Sunset

So many beautiful colors mixed together in the sky.

Under the sun, watching it disappear over the horizon, turning everything around us to darkness as it left.

No one in the world would not enjoy watching its beauty.

Such a gorgeous sight to watch.

Everybody thought it was perfect, nothing could ruin this sunset.

Tackling the waves afterwards for a late night swim.