Essay #9 Outline

Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

11/30/10

Thesis: Sydney Carton does not think highly of himself.

Bell Word: Insignificant

Paragraph 1

Hook: CD has some interesting characters

Hook Comment: have different personalities for each

Hook Comment: Carton especially has an odd one

Thesis: Carton feels insignificant

Paragraph 2

TS: CD made Carton depressing

2 Echo Words: Unwanted and Useless

SD: Carton describes himself as "useless piece of furniture, tolerated for it's old service, and taken no notice of." (p.216)

CM: used to be known, now is unwanted

CM: feels unnoticed

SD: "I shall never be better than I am. I shall sink lower, and be worse." (p.156)

CM: very depressed

CM: thinks his life is pretty much over

SD: " ...a fire, however, inseperable in its nature from myself, quickening nothing, lighting nothing, doing no service, idly burning away." (p.157)

CM: can't help no one

CM: has no confidence

Paragraph 3

TS: Carton can improve on personality in many ways

2 Bell words: Irrelevant and Meager

SD: needs more confidence

CM: allow him to talk to people without being negative

CM: make him feel useful instead of irrelevant

SD: needs to make more friends

CM: friends will make him feel needed

CM: will give him things to do

SD: needs to find a girl

CM: this will make him happy

CM: will give him something to live for each day

Paragraph 4

Hook: Sydney a definitely an intriguing character

Hook Comment: would be hard to change though

Hook Comment: very stubborn character

Thesis: Even though Carton is depressed and feels unimportant, he still could potentially change.

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Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

12/5/10

Carton Depressed:

An Essay on the Book Tale of Two Cities

1) Charles Dickens has different personalities for each of his characters in Tale of Two Cities, especially his character Sydney Carton. 2) Carton has many flaws and isn't shy to admit it. 3) He almost forces the other characters to feel bad for him. 4) Sydney Carton is one of those people that's thinks of himself as non-factor in other people's lives.

TS: Sydney Carton is a character in Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens that feels as if he's unimportant (bell word) to everyone else in the book. SD: He portrays (FAST word) himself as a "useless piece of furniture, tolerated for it's old service, and taken no notice of" (Dickens, 216). CM: He remembers how he actually once was loved and used, but now he is forgotten and lonely and sad and believes he'll never be useful again (polysyndeton). CM: He hates feeling useless (bell word) even though he truly thinks he can't do anything about it. SD: "I shall never be better than I am. I shall sink lower, and be worse" (Dickens, 156) is another way Carton defines himself. CM: Sydney Carton is a very sad person, a person who dislikes himself, a depressed person who has lost a part of him, acting like a person who has nothing else to live for (Coordinate Cumulative Sentence). CM: He knows nothing now (alliteration) or ever will happen in the rest of his life or at least that is what his mind is set on. SD: The last way Carton depicts (FAST word) himself is as "...a fire, however, inseparable in its nature from myself, quickening nothing, lighting nothing, doing no service, idly burning away" (Dickens, 157). CM: He doesn't feel like he can help anyone, afraid of being unwanted (bell word) by everyone as he "idly [burns] away". CM: He has no confidence in himself either, making it hard for him to not always be depressed. CS: Carton can't contain (alliteration) his depressed feelings inside himself, but instead just shows them off and makes people feel bad for him.

TS: Sydney Carton is someone who can improve himself as a person in many ways, which in return would help reduce his depression. SD: First of all, he needs to gain more confidence and not always be beating up on himself. CM: He constantly speaks to others about how terrible a person he is, and no one wants to hear that. CM: Carton has to believe he is useful instead of irrelevant (bell word) and unwanted and unsought (FAST word) by others (polsyndeton). SD: Carton can't keep (alliteration) going through life with barely any friends; he needs to befriend more people. CM: When he actually finds people who care about him, it will make him feel needed instead of rejected. CM: Friends will also keep him occupied and give him something to do other than sit around and mope. SD: Lastly, Carton needs to find himself a girlfriend, someone he can be of use too, someone who loves him, someone just like the gorgeous Lucie (Coordinate Cumulative Sentence with Simile). CM: A girlfriend would make him more lively and pleasant unlike his usual dreary (FAST word) self. CM: It would also give him something to live for each day, a beautiful face to grant him hope each day from there till his death. CS: Sydney says sour (alliteration) things about himself all the time, but he could become a better person if he just listens to my advice.

1) I can't help but feel bad for Sydney Carton. 2) He's never complaining, but you can always tell he's sad inside. 3) You wish he was living a better life, enjoying it more and glad to be alive, but it just isn't at all. 4) Sydney Carton needs to be happy and not feel useless; no one likes seeing him miserable all the time.

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Self-Assessment

1) I'm still continuing to work on mixing up my long and short sentences throughout my essay. The special effects do help me have longer sentences in some cases, but I feel like I have too many short sentences sometimes.

2) I like my polysyndeton in this essay. I believe it really improved my writing and fits well. My sentences wouldn't be any better without the polysyndeton.

3) My other special effects other than polysyndeton don't seem that great in this essay. I feel that I couldn't have made them a little better to help improve my essay, but couldn't think of a way too.

4) I would give myself a C+.

Essay #8

Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

11/16/10

Thesis: Humans are small compared to the universe.

Bell word: Analyze

Paragraph 1

Hook: Ever had trouble understanding part in book?

Hook Comment: I have many times in TOTC

Hook Comment: Usually just pass over it

Thesis (with bell word): Try to analyze this part of book

Paragraph 2

TS: First paragraph on page 183 terribly hard to understand

Echo Words: Evaluate and Interpret

SD: Humans think too highly of themselves for what we've done

CM: "...concentrated in a thin breadth line" referring to everything we consider big actually isn't

CM: Everything we've done considered small to the endless galaxy

SD: There's higher intelligences than us

CM: "...sublimer intelligences may read in the feeble shining of this earth of ours..."

CM: Our accomplishments are barely anything

CS: Many things for humans to still accomplish

Paragraph 3

TS: Paragraph can compare to my life

Echo words: Ponder and Think

SD: Humans have done many great things in my eyes

CM: Each building and road amazes me

CM: Couldn't imagine what we'd be without our intelligent creations

SD: Have no clue what greater intelligences can do

CM: Maybe watching over us

CM: Maybe created us

CS: Amazing to think about humans compared to the unknown intelligences

Paragraph 4

Hook: Ever think you could get this from analyzing one paragraph?

Hook Comment: Writers add things like this all the time

Hook Comment: Just got to take time to think about what authors saying

Thesis: Humans intelligent in our eyes, but what are we in the eyes of the unknown?

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Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

11/18/10

Trying to Understand Dickens:

An Essay on TOTC and My Life

1) Have you ever had trouble trying to understand something inside a book? 2) I know I have, many times too actually, especially inside the book Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. 3) Most of the time I would just pass over the part, thinking it to be way too hard to try and understand, but you should take time to try and understand it. 4) I'm going to try analyze a part of Tale of Two Cities to see how much I can get from it.

TS: The paragraph that Dickens wrote on page 183 in Tale of Two Cities is one of the most formidable (FAST word) paragraph's I've ever tried to understand (echo word). SD: Dickens believes humans tend to think too highly of themselves for what we've done. CM: Everything on the Earth that we've composed is "...concentrated [into] a thin breadth line", meaning that all things considered big in human's eyes are actually not at all. CM: When you evaluate (echo word) the sum of human's doings, it's truly nothing in comparison to the endless universe, something most people never take the time to think about (Appositive). SD: Dickens also puts the thought of higher intelligences than us into our heads. CM: The thought that "...sublimer intelligences may read in the feeble shining of this Earth of ours" is strange to think about, but it could be totally possible in Dickens mind. CM: My interpretation (echo word) of Dickens beliefs is that humans' accomplishments are barely anything to what the higher intelligences have done. CS: I extracted (echo word) out of this paragraph that humans still have many things yet to be fulfilled.

TS: Life today, oddly enough, can be connected to this paragraph Dickens wrote. SD: When I take time to think (echo word) about it, humans have done many exceptional things in their lives, and still have many things still to complete. CM: Each building and road amazes me; the thought of it all is mesmerizing (Fast word). CM: I couldn't imagine what our society would be like without all of our brilliant creations. SD: One of humans' flaws though is that we have no idea if there's any superior intelligences than us in this everlasting universe. CM: I sometimes take time to ponder (echo word) the thought that these intelligences might be out there just watching over us. CM: People have beliefs that god created us, but maybe these higher intelligences did instead, proud of what they created, a group that is filled with quite ingenious (Fast word) beings just like themselves (Coordinate Cumulative Sentence). CS: This paragraph relates to life nowadays still, opening our eyes to things we still have yet to figure out.

1) Did you ever think I could have captured this much from on little piece of writing? 2) Writers have these little parts of their writing where you think it would only make sense to them, but it could actually mean many things. 3) All you have to do is take time to think about it, and you'll never know what you'll think of. 4) Humans are very unpredictable and anything they write can be interpreted in many ways.

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Self-Assessment

1) I am still continuing to work on keeping my paragraph unified throughout. Sometimes I have trouble having a nice flow from each sentence to sentence. I really tried working on that in this essay.

2) I think I did well trying to analyze this paragraph the best I could because it definitely wasn't easy. I had a lot of trouble thinking of things to say, but I felt as if I did a pretty nice job anyways.

3) I could do a better job replacing words with better, more interesting words throughout my essay to spice it up a bit, but I'm not sure I did that well in this essay. I did have some good words, but some of them might be too common.

4) I would give myself only a C+ on this essay.

Graphic Organizer for Essay #7

Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

11/2/10

Graphic Organizer

Paragraph #1

TS: Don't think of peace much when reading TOTC

SD: Dickens is more of a dark type of writer

CM: Some of his characters are far from peaceful like Monseiur Marquis

CM: Some are so depressed and believe they'll never find peace like Carton

SD: Book takes place around Civil War

CM: Many references to "blood"

CM: (Use another reference to blood)

SD: Only peaceful thing is Manette's being reunited

CM: Being reunited after 20 years would definitely put mind at peace

CM: Lucie and the Doctor seem much more at peace now

Paragraph #2: Freestyle Writing on Poem

I. Poem makes me emotional, women still at peace even though is in wheelchair

II. The rain keeps the woman at peace (Explain further in sentences after)

Paragraph #3: Freestyle Writing About Life

I. Basketball is peace

II. Have everything I need, family, friends, and should be thankful

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Nolan B.

Mr. Salsich

English 9

11/4/10

TS: Peace doesn't come to my mind often when thinking of Tale of Two Cities. SD: Some of Dickens character's have dark personalities, keeping to themselves, caring about no one but themselves, not worrying whatsoever about being peaceful, as if they have no conscience at all (Cumulative Sentence with a Simile). CM: Monseiur Marquis is that character of Dickens that really cherished no one other then himself. CM: Others, like Sydney Carton, are so depressed all the time that they seldomly ever smile. SD: This book takes place around the time of the civil war, a time where peace wasn't even mentioned, a time where no one felt safe, a time where much blood was spilt. CM: Dickens has exemplified "blood" quite a few times in the book so far. CM: In one chapter, a man writes the word "blood" on a wall using wine, stating the coming forth of the civil war. SD: There is only one part of this book that actually some what reminds me of peace, and that is when the Manette's reunite. CM: Being brought back together after 20 years must have unequivocally brought peace back to them. CM: When Doctor Manette was first described to us in the book before being reunited, he was old and deathly looking, but now he is more full of life and peaceful. TS: Dickens, in my eyes, believes that peace isn't very realistic, and that's why he doesn't mention it much in this book.

A Rainy Morning by Ted Kooser is a very emotional poem, but to me it directly relates to peace. The women in the poem has lost her ability to walk, but that doesn't stop her from finding peace. Being in wheelchair for her is something that she actually enjoys, even though it stops her from doing multiple things like most sports. She forgets all about her unfortunate disability and is able to be cheerful because of it. It is also raining in the poem, making an even more peaceful scene for the women in the poem. She is in love with the rain; the feeling of it makes her blessed to be alive. The rain helps her get through being in a wheelchair; the rain helped her master the wheelchair; the rain is her guide to peace. The women in this poem is a very strong person, and a great role model. She pushes on and finds peace, letting nothing at all stop her.

Peace can be found anywhere in your life, like sitting in your room just relaxing or running around in the rain. I consider it universal or infinite because anyone can find peace in their own way. I can find it in playing basketball, each shot taking complete concentration, a skill i've picked up, a form i've been practicing to find my perfect shot (Appositive). When I go to take a shot, everything seems to go into slow motion, creating a peaceful scene in my mind. Even watching it puts a good feeling inside me -- creates a feeling that wishes it could be just like the people it sees ( Verb Appositive). My life has everything I could possibly need at the moment to achieve peace. Family is a huge factor for my peace. Just being with my parents creates a sense of safeness for me. They always have the right things to say when I'm in need of it, pushing away and making me forget everything bad happening to me. You could almost speculate them bringing peace into my life as their duty, and I am exceedingly thankful for having them. On the court, at home, with family or watching television, are all kinds of places that peace can be found (Compound Subject).

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Self - Assessment

1) I'm still continuing to work on splitting up the amount of short and long sentences I have. I tried to have more longer sentences than I usually have in this essay, and I hope it helped improve my writing. It also makes the essay way more interesting to write by thinking of long, clever sentences.

2) I really thought my last paragraph in my essay was well written. I really put a lot of thought into it and said everything from the heart, making it a very powerful paragraph.

3) A weak point in this essay would most likely be my special effects. I had trouble finding spots to fit them in, and that's why I didn't put in a second verb appositive. I couldn't find a spot to put it where it would improve my essay.

4) I would give myself a C+ on this essay.